Thank You

It's almost unimaginable how all of this is already starting to unfold. I know I'm still being very vague on the blog, but those that I have spoken to personally understand why...it just isn't time to share it all yet. After the holidays, once more things are certain, I will be spilling all of the information.

But I wanted to take a moment to thank so many people that have emailed or called with words of encouragement and support. You are the ones that will help grow this organization into something larger than I ever dreamed and you are the ones that Guatemala is counting on.

I have spoken with many people over the last couple of weeks that I've "known" through adoption community boards and blogs for years, but had never actually heard their voices. I've spoken with people that I met throughout our adoption, but had since lost contact with for some reason or another that are now calling and emailing just to say, "I've heard what you're doing and I want to help." Then there are those that I knew loved Guatemala with a passion as large as mine and I knew that they would be more than supportive, but even they are amazing me with their constant encouragment The love and hope that is already being shown through all of you is amazing.

I could go on and on about this...there simply aren't enough words to express my gratitude for your support and there aren't enough tears to express the raw emotion that continues to come out about every part of this. So I will simply say "thank you". I love y'all to pieces! (that's as real as it gets from me)

Please continue to remember and pray for us as we continue to do whatever is necessary to get this going. We are on our way, but not there yet.

Only one thing is certain....

In 6 months, I will be sitting on the same swing, on the same rooftop patio, looking at the same view of Agua and saying the same words I said last year..."my eyes...my ears...my heart...are open...show me the way." I can't believe that our base for the trip and possibly many trips in the future will be the same house I lived in for 2 short months while I was in Antigua. To be going back to that spot, where I resisted so hard and finally accepted the plan, is as close to coming full cicle as I can get. I love it!

We have a name!

The first of many beginning steps that I'm working on all at once...complete. It makes every thing seem much more real, for some reason. I'm not putting it out there yet, but watch for it to come soon. This is so exciting!

And....

First trip back Guatemala....late May or early June. How am I going to make it 6 more months?

What's Going On?

I thought very hard about whether or not to tell anyone other than a select few about what all of this "Following the Call" stuff is about. Just like everyone else, I hate to fail and it makes it worse when you fail with everyone watching. I didn't plan to talk about this until after something big happened or until it was off the ground, but then I thought..."Maybe I should document this. Maybe I should make everyone aware of just how serious I am about this." Afterall, the entire past 5 years of our lives have been documented in one way or another. Our entire infertility struggle is written in the pages of a journal, as is every detail about Tommy's adoption. Most of his adoption is documented on a blog, as well, as is life since he's been home. I wanted him to be able to look back at it all one day, which is the only reason I started doing those things. And then I thought, "I am not going to fail because this is His plan, not mine."

So why not document this? Why should it be a secret until we're ready to roll?

It shouldn't. So here we go.....

I am getting ready to start an organization that will provide orphan care and family outreach to (hopefully) countries around the world, beginning in Guatemala. This is something that I have been planning to do for years, but I did not have the courage to do it "alone" and those plans were put aside when Weaving Families was formed. I planned to join with them on their outreach, but for now that is impossible as they are far from being in a position to launch such a program in addition to their adoption ministry. I support the Caswell's ministry 100% and believe that eventually we will work together to touch the lives of orphans and families that are at risk of leaving their children as orphans. In the meantime, I believe that it is time for me to act on what I know I have been called to do.

While I wanted to do "something" long before I fostered Tommy in Antigua, it wasn't until two weeks into my stay as I sat starring at Agua, crying and praying, that I realized exactly why I was there and what I had to do.

What needs to be done in Guatemala goes far beyond what any individual or organization can do alone. I understand that there are several well established organizations and a few new ones that have many supporters currently working to touch the lives of those most in need. I applaud every person and every group of people that does anything to help this country that holds a large piece of my heart. I look forward to getting to know and possibly working hand in hand with some of them as we all work together to support orphans and families that desperately need our help just to survive.

This organization will be quite bit different than those that you may already be familiar with. I will not go into details now, but will share more information as time passes.

It is going to take time to launch this organization and establish our program in Guatemala. I am not living in a fairy tale land thinking that all of this will happen overnight and I certainly do not think and would never try to "save" all of the orphans in world. And I cannot do this work alone. Most people probably do not know what it takes to form an organization like this. Let me tell you....it isn't easy and I have more respect now for those that have done it than I ever have before. This certainly takes patience, dedication and extreme passion. I'm not going to rush this. Yes, I want to get to Guatemala as soon as possible, but it's going to take a little time to find people that I trust to work with me in order to establish this program. Then there is fundraising. And finally, I will need to find people...all kinds of people from families with small children to individuals to church mission groups to work in Guatemala. More on that later....

The bottom line is, as I began writing my Guatemala story for Weaving Families which I have yet to submit to them (sorry, Rebecca...are you really ready for a 4 page story?) in July, I was brought right back to that swing on the rooftop terrace of Casa Bella. The swing I sat on that day while Tommy was sleeping and I was beside myself with anger and sadness because all I wanted to do was go home. Something changed that day when I asked God to open my eyes to what it was He wanted me to see and my heart to what it was He wanted me to feel. He did open my eyes and my heart and His plan was made clear. Just as I heard the call to "go" to Antigua, I was waiting on the call to go back to Guatemala to begin this work, but because of fear, I have been unable to hear Him...until now. Until I was asked to write my story, the story I wasn't ready to write because I didn't really want to hear Him again yet, not until I felt I was strong enough to do what He wanted me to do. How foolish am I to question my ability to do His work when He is the one that asked me to do it?

And so, as I said when I first wrote about the call, let the journey begin. My eyes, my ears and my heart are still open and I cannot wait to be His hands and feet in the country (and eventually countries) that have and will capture my heart.

You'll hear time and time again as the weeks, months and years pass.....

Wherever He leads, I will follow.

Jesus Calling - Leave the Outcomes to Me

I start every day by reading the daily devotion in Jesus Calling (Sarah Young). Today's devotion was exactly what I needed to read and hear.

November 19

"Leave outcomes up to Me. Follow Me wherever I lead, without worrying about how it will all turn out. Think of your life as an adventure, with Me as your Guide and Companion. Live in the now, concentrating on staying in step with Me. When our path leads to a cliff, be willing to climb it with My help. When we come to a resting place, take time to be refreshed by My Presence. Enjoy the rhythm of life lived close to me.

You already know the ultimate destination of your journey: your entrance into heaven. So keep your focus on the path just before you, leaving outcomes up to Me."

I'm ready and willing to climb the cliff. Actually, make that a volcano.

Following the Call

I know this is going to be vague and even though I am not ready to give any information, (actually there is no information other than my definite decision to finally act on some things that I know I was put on Earth to do), I am in need of as many prayers as I can get.

Specifically:

Pray that I know where to start and that I will not loose sight of the ultimate goals as I make my way through the unknowns.

Pray that I make the best possible decisions about people that I want to help me along the way.

Pray that Danny will remain as positive, excited and helpful as he is now.

Pray that just as I have always listened for and heard "the call", that I will continue to do so.

Pray that I will know where to go first.

Pray that people will give all that they are able in order to make someone's life better.

Pray for the orphans in Guatemala and around the world. And pray for families that are at risk of leaving their children as orphans.

Please, just pray for me as I step out on faith and begin to follow Him in a way that I never have before. Pray for Danny as his wife begins something that she's talked about for years, but has never had the courage to go through with. And pray for Tommy as his mom becomes the person she was always meant to be...she just didn't know it until he came along. I have no idea what I'm doing, but He does. I have no idea how I will do any of this, but know that He will show me the way.

More details in the weeks and months to come....this is going to be a long process, but one that I know has always been the plan for our family. Let the journey begin...