Sunday, January 15, 2012

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I’m not sure how to title this post.  I thought about:

He Did It Again or Call It What It Is or just I’m Fully Funded!

Basically, that’s what it boils down to.  The Lord did it again.  He totally blew my mind.  I am fully funded for my mission trip to Uganda.  He used some precious people to provide the way and I am so incredibly thankful.  If you were one of the anonymous donors that I can’t thank personally, please know how much I appreciate you.  I have no idea what God has in store for me (or this team) during our time in Uganda, but if I ever had a doubt in my mind that I needed to go (I didn’t, but still…), I certainly do not have any doubt now. 

Here’s the sad thing.  (I can’t believe I’m going to admit this here.)  I didn’t believe that it was going to happen.

Years ago I told a sweet friend that I had to go to Africa.  I didn’t know where exactly, but in addition to that never ending longing to get to Cambodia and working in Guatemala, I was starting to feel like the Lord was calling me to something in that part of the world.  Specifically Uganda.  I struggled for a long time with it.  Maybe I was supposed to go to Rwanda or Ghana or maybe I wasn’t supposed to go at all. Maybe we were supposed to adopt from one of these countries or maybe we were supposed to do some type of ministry there.  Maybe I was supposed to go just once in my life or maybe time and time again.  I had no idea, but it didn’t matter.   The door never opened and I really didn’t even wonder if it ever would.  The heart tug was still there, but I pushed it aside.  Until last year when our church missions guy mentioned to me (only mentioned once and didn’t bring it up again for a long time) that he felt like we needed to be working somewhere in Africa.  Just at the mention of it my heart leaped, but again I pushed the thought aside and for once didn’t ask him (the missions guy that I know I drive crazy with my many questions) any questions. 

A couple of months ago the same missions guy let me know that we (our church) would begin working with a missionary in Uganda and Mumbai.  Granted, India isn’t Cambodia, but after so many years of knowing, without a doubt, that I have something to see or do or just learn in southeast Asia, I jumped at the chance to travel to Mumbai with people that I trust later this year.  And I wanted to jump at the chance to travel to Uganda, but I couldn’t.  I had to make a choice and it wasn’t a hard decision to pick the part of the world that has been on my heart since I was a child (even though it isn’t Cambodia).  Still, I desperately wanted to go to Uganda, too.  But how would I make multiple trips to Guatemala, go to India for 10 days in the fall AND go to Uganda in the spring?  There was simply now way to swing it.

Every time the Uganda trip was mentioned, I felt sick.  Literally.  And I said over and over how much I wanted to go, but I just couldn’t.  I couldn’t work it out.  I don’t know what happened in December, but it became really clear that I had to stop saying that I could not go to Uganda.  I also could not skip more than one trip to Guatemala and there was NO WAY that I could back out of Mumbai.  I didn’t know what would happen, but I told the missions guy that I had to go with them to Uganda, but basically not to count on it because I had no idea how I was going to pay for it and if God really wanted me on the trip, He was going to have to do something big.

Let me just pause to say now that yes, sometimes I am an idiot.  And a hypocrite.  Because I walked around for a couple of weeks saying that I was going to Uganda and even though I had no idea how I would get there, God would provide the way.  It sounded good, but to be honest, I didn’t fully believe it.  Don’t get me wrong.  I know God is capable of anything and $2500 is a drop in the bucket for Him.  I’ve been on the receiving end of His mind blowing provision time and time again, but obviously had never learned from it.  Secretly I prayed for just 50% because there is no way that I would make it to 100%.  If I could just get to 50% we would figure out a way to make it happen.  Somehow.  Someway.  I set a deadline of January 31 and started a contest that ended today.  But the contest isn’t what He used to bring the funding.

No, He decided to go all out and beat my timeline by weeks.  His provision came so quickly.  In less than 2 weeks, 100% of my trip was paid for by friends, family and strangers.  And along with that I have received the most encouraging notes and emails that I have ever received.

I joke sometimes that I hope we are allowed to ask questions in heaven because after a thousand years or so of Jesus time, I would love to spend some time asking questions about all kinds of stuff.  Last week, I decided that if it’s allowed, I really want to know how many times God has shaken His head at me while saying, “I told you so.”  Because again, He said, “Go,” and then made the way despite my doubt, proving again that I cannot stop praying, “Lord, increase my faith.”

I am beyond blessed and so humbled.

So here we go.  In just over two months I will be in Uganda.  Eight weeks later, Guatemala.  Twelve weeks later, Mumbai.  And 10 days later, back to Guatemala.  And those are just the international trips.  In between are Spanish classes and Bible study, conferences and a much needed family vacation.  And always just being a wife and mom.  My life is so full and even though some think I should be becoming just slightly overwhelmed with this year’s schedule, I have never been happier and at such peace.  Life is good because He is good.  Always.