Beauty from Ashes

Two months. That has to be a record for me. I won't spend any time on what has been going on during that time. We've just been living life. To those that have emailed and sent Facebook messages (since I've been absent from there, too)...thanks for checking on us. We are OK. Busy. And OK. Alright...jumping right back in...

I've had plenty of things to blog about over the last 2 months, but honestly...it was kind of freeing to step back for a while, gather my thoughts, sort some things out. I've been wanting to jump back in, but when a regular blogger takes a "break", it's kind of hard to figure out how to start back up again. I didn't know exactly where to begin again until tonight.

I know that someone needs to hear this as badly as I did because it isn't like me to be as publicly open about this as I know I am going to be. I feel so strongly that there is someone that desperately needs to hear this that I am going to put my heart out there. I've written about this topic only once (on my old private blog that I no longer use) and only spoken about this with a few people that have lived it, though that was in the midst of another storm at this same time last year. I am praying tonight, as always, and will continue to pray for those that have been touched by this trial...because I know it hurts and because I know that sometimes we allow it to define us, thus giving it the power it doesn't deserve. My heart is so heavy tonight for friends that I know are battling this with all of themselves right now and even those that have been living with this for years. I truly pray that you will one day find peace in this.

"...and provide for those who grieve in Zion - to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor." Isaiah 61:3

Let me just say that I love Beth Moore and I have to admit to being completely blown away by her Bible study, Breaking Free. I need to rephrase that. I am amazed by how God is using this Bible study to blow me away. This is an intense study that digs into your deepest strongholds in order to reveal and break chains so that you can become closer to God. If I can be honest, I did not know what I was about to step in to when I signed up for this. My first thoughts were positive. I thought that I would learn a few things and hopefully grow a little closer in my relationship with him because break free? Break free from what exactly? Then I got the book and flipped through the pages. I decided that most of which would be addressed in the first six weeks were things that I had already dealt with and moved on. Maybe weeks 7-10 would be beneficial. Weeks 1 - 6 might bring back some memories, but what each day addressed would not be helpful to me at all because I either had already "broken free" from those strongholds or I knew that I never would be able to break free from them in this life. We began by comparing the lives of a few kings of Judah to our lives today to see that there is a great resemblance. Week 2 taught the benefits that God extends to his children. We began to look at obstacles that stand in the way in week 3. So far, so good. But then it got deep. In week 4 we dove into topics like generational bondage and I began to squirm a little. I only thought that was deep until week 5 when we we shot straight to the heart to discuss things like childhood victimization and loss in childhood. That was an uncomfortable week for me. The pain of losing my father when I was just eight years old is still fresh in my mind, but I was happy to realize that much of what I thought would hurt during those first few weeks really became a reassurance that my heart has been healed and while sometimes memories still hurt, they no longer control me. I thought the hardest part was over and the few tears that I shed during week 5 would not return. Moving into week 6 , Beauty from Ashes, would be the start of the climb out of the pit of the past. It wasn't far into day 1 when I realized this may be the most difficult week for me yet. We would be talking about 5 dreams that most little girls have and what happens if one of our dreams does not come true. One of those dreams....to be fruitful.

As I said, until now I have never openly discussed infertility except with a few friends that have lived it. If you have heard me talk about the pain that comes with infertility, if you aren't someone that has experienced it first hand, I have never been completely honest with you. Just like other losses, until you experience it you can not even begin to understand the pain that it causes and the havoc that it wrecks on your life. I have often described infertility as death and to this day I still believe that it is a death that it is necessary to grieve and mourn the death of the dream of having a child.

For those of you that do not know our story, we walked through infertility before adopting our son from Guatemala. But here's the twist and one that has been discussed privately, but that I have always been afraid to say publicly until now....

Even after adoption, infertility still hurts. There is no life after infertility. Just like the death of a loved one is never forgotten and always brings back pain regardless of a healed heart, so does infertility.

Some may say that by my admitting this or having these feelings, that I am not satisfied with the child that is ours. Before you comment or send an email saying how horrible I am, please hear me when I say and mean that I adore our son and there is not another child, biological or not, that I could love more than him. He is our son and never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I would be so blessed by being his mom. If I had the chance to live this part of my life again, this time without infertility and having a biological child instead of adopting, already knowing this outcome, I would walk through fire to become the mother to THIS child a thousand times over. This has nothing to do with him, but more with longing for something that I know I cannot have. Genetics mean nothing to me. In fact, I always knew that my children would come to me through adoption and I never had a strong desire to have biological children. We decided years ago to try to have a child and then we would adopt children. It wasn't until someone told us that we cannot have biological children that I truly began to want one. To this day, as confusing as it sounds, I have no desire to have a biological child. I believe the explanation of why I do not want biological children is simple...God never intended for me to have a child this way. But that doesn't erase the fact that there are things that we lose in life that we grieve over and mourn the loss of and losing just the chance of having children this way is a death that we walked through in order to get to our son.

I believe that everything happens for a reason and I have always known that the pain of infertility would lead to something greater than I could imagine. Until now, I assumed that it led and may continue to lead to adoption and that is part of it, I'm sure. I also knew that had we not adopted from Guatemala, my heart would never have been shattered for the suffering there, so I knew that one of the reasons we had to live this in this life was so that we could fulfill our purpose. But never have I seen so clearly through the pain of infertility as I am seeing today.

Oh how often I read these verses through tears years ago....

"Sing, O barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband," says the Lord. "Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cord, strengthen your stakes. For you will spread out to the right and to the left; your descendants will dispossess nations and settle in their desolate cities. Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood. For your Maker is your husband - the Lord Almighty is his name - the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth." Isaiah 54: 1-5

I never got it. How could it be..."more are the children of the desolate woman" that never bore a child?

I spent years begging for the positive pregnancy test that never came and I wasted a lot of time asking God to give me something that deep down I knew was not His will for my life. But I wanted it and for a while I am ashamed to admit that I did not care what he wanted and I cried myself to sleep every night asking him to change his mind.


I wish I could have heard the words that he may have been speaking to me during that time...words that I could not hear because I didn't want to.


"Just wait. Just wait for the day when you finally understand what I mean by "more are the children of the desolate woman." Just wait until the moment you realize what all of this is really about. Just wait because in the not too distant future I am going to show you why you had to live this. Just wait until I shatter the wall that now surrounds your heart. Just wait until you feel the relief that comes when I lift this burden from you. Just wait."


After our adoption was final, I hid so many of the emotions that come to some moms (and dads) post adoption. I felt guilty for still sometimes thinking about infertility and being hurt by it. "Experts" talk about life after infertility and I've learned that this is something that many adoptive parents experience, but do not feel comfortable sharing because so many people look at us and think that once we become parents through adoption our struggle with infertility should be over. That simply is not the case. If you never give birth to a child because of infertility, you are always infertile. It never goes away. I will be 70 years old and still I will remember this and sometimes that memory will hurt. It is hard to explain, but I know that many understand exactly what I am talking about (please somebody...tell me you understand this). But again, I knew all along that there was a reason for our infertility and I have been able to piece things together along the way...things that I know were supposed to happen and would only have happened because of this. But there is so much more to it than what I have ever realized.


Beth says, "God never allows or appoints a fire unless he can bring beauty from the ashes." "We cannot often refuse the fire,", she says, "but we can refuse to be refined by it." "God is much more interested in our callings than our comfort. Sometimes our fiery trials are absolutely necessary to fulfill our callings."


Beauty from ashes. I have never compared infertility to ashes, though I have compared the parts of the result to beauty (our son...you can't get more beautiful than that). But "beauty from ashes" has taken on an entirely new meaning for me now. I knew that this was necessary to fulfill part of our calling, but did I ever fully grasp what might not have happened had we not walked through infertility? No. For so long I've asked God if I would always feel the pain of infertility and for so long I have asked him if I would ever fully understand why this happened to us. I know now that yes, infertility will always be a part of my life because it is such an important part of who I was, am and will become, but just as it hasn't hurt in the last year (since the peak of pain after adoption), it will not be a constant source of pain in my life ever again because my heart is healed. Memories sometimes bring back pain, but we are not defined by our memories and infertility will never again hurt the way it once did. That wall has been shattered. To my other question, his answer is yes and now is the time that I am hearing his response.


Without infertility we would have eventually adopted, but Central America never entered our thoughts. I wanted to have a child and then adopt a cute little girl from China and a boy from Cambodia (this was before Cambodia closed). Guatemala was not on our radar. But we did adopt from Guatemala and we began falling in love with a country that we never would have known without infertility. I would never have spent time fostering a child there and never would have started an organization focused on preventing orphans and caring for existing orphans there. That is where my mind stopped. That is how our fiery trial of infertility was necessary to fulfill our calling. But then God used a Bible study and two simple words, "spiritual children", to show me the rest of his reason for our infertility and to lift the burden of infertility from my life as quickly as it was placed there.


I had to answer the question last week, "Are you discovering a few opportunities to rear spiritual children?" Meaning...do you have any opportunities to love, mentor, minister to, be a part of a child's life that isn't actually your child...a child that is your spiritual child?


Immediately all of my questions were answered and that horrible, heavy burden was lifted from my life. For the first time it all made perfect sense. The reason is different for everyone that experiences infertility. Some may be for the reason of adopting a child or children and that is it or maybe it has nothing to do with adoption at all. Children need moms and dads and if a child is a true orphan he or she should be adopted and God uses infertility to fulfill that purpose in so many lives. That was part of it for us, but our reason was not just to adopt one or two, four or six children. In fact the more I listen, the more I understand that we will likely never adopt the number of children we once talked about. Because through infertility he would show us that our calling was to rear more spiritual children than we will ever know about in this life.


I am sitting in my living room right now, but my mind has me in the middle of Pueblo Nuevo and I can see the children that we already know and so many more that we do not. There are hundreds of children there and we are there because of them. To make sure that they do not become orphans. To help break the cycle of generational poverty in this village in their lifetimes. To ensure that their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren never have to face the fears that exist in the lives of those that live in the grasp of poverty. We already love them so much, every one of them, and it is our God given hearts desire to watch them grow and thrive, living full, long lives outside of the bondage that they are currently living in. God knew while I was begging him to allow us to have a child that in our lives we would have more spiritual children than we will ever know this side of heaven. He knew that I had no idea when I said we would one day work with at-risk children in developing countries that we would be working not just for one or two generations, but that after we are gone, what we do now will effect generations to come. His will for our lives was already planned and how he would get us to that point was already in the works. Infertility was never to hurt us...it was just the sign in the road that said, "This isn't the way. Turn here." And just wait.


I have no idea what he is going to do with the rest of our lives or how many children (and adults) in places unknown that he will lead us to. I do not know how he will touch their lives through us or our lives through them. I have been thankful for infertility for a few years now, since we first met Tommy and knew that without it, he would not be our son. But today I am thankful for infertility on behalf of every child that he will touch because of the life he has called us to.


I am so in love with the God that says, "Sing, O barren woman...." and pray that for every woman battling with the newness of infertility or the scars from years ago, that you (and I) will enlarge the place of our tents and stretch our tent curtains wide because perhaps we have been called to spread out to the right and the left. Maybe we truly will have more children than we believed we would because I finally believe...."more are the children of the desolate woman."

Beauty from ashes...

Recommended Books

It is so easy, I think, for organizations to get off track from their original mission and goals. It isn't always intentional, in fact I think most of the time it is unintentional as we are forced to work with what we have access to. Sadly, some become stuck in that never ending cycle of handouts and temporary fixes instead of re-evaluating and coming back to their original goal of working out long term solutions. Just during the short amount of time we have been in Guatemala I have seen how easy it could be to make multiple trips a year to poverty stricken countries and do nothing but distributions of meds, shoes, school supplies, etc. I am not saying that those things aren't needed, but what happens when things like toothpaste and antibacterial ointment run out and we aren't there to provide them with more? Does it really do any good to provide a child with pencils and notebooks for the school year when they don't have access to a pencil sharpener? And what good does that one bag of food REALLY do, other than giving them a holiday meal, filling their bellies for a week and reminding them that they are loved and not forgotten? As we work at finding long term solutions for poverty elimination in an effort to prevent children from becoming orphans in Pueblo Nuevo and beyond, we are learning how hard it is for those around us to understand why it is so important to focus on those long term solutions instead of focusing only on short term fixes that result in constant handouts that do more harm than good.

That leads me to two book recommendations...


I am currently reading The Poor Will Be Glad and recommend it to anyone that is considering beginning or partnering with a non-profit with a focus on poverty elimination. Whether you do not understand the impact that micro finance programs can have in developing countries or you want to learn more about how they work, this has some of the information you need. It has been an encouragement to me as we look at ways to establish such a program in Guatemala.


When Helping Hurts is a book I am recommending before I read it. I have been meaning to read it for a while and will start it when I am finished with The Poor Will Be Glad. It is highly recommended by others that have read it and I am anxious to get started.

This comes as I am sorting through thoughts that are leading to a blog post about the "new" UNICEF-Haiti news. We do not support UNICEF or anyone affiliated with them, but I know that I am in the miniority of adoptive parents in my thoughts on international adoption as a form of orphan care...an opinion that has changed for me over the last few years. Of course, we believe in adoption as an option for children that are truly eligble, but we also believe international adoption is not the answer to the world's growing orphan crisis. Working to eliminiate poverty and in turn preventing orphans is. More on my thoughts about UNICEF and international adoption soon...

$21 for Haiti

If you have ever read my blog, chances are you have heard about the Caswell family. The Caswell's have been an inspiration to me for the last five years, since adopting their first child from Guatemala, and continue to inspire us with their love for orphans and heart for those in need around the world. Today I learned that their two oldest children want to help the people of Haiti. These children have the biggest hearts of any children I have ever met, thanks to the example of their parents, so it is not a surprise to me that they would begin thinking of ways to help. After some discussion, it was decided that their family would hold a bake sale in their driveway this Saturday. They will be selling baked goods, coffee, cocoa and maybe some toys. 100% of the proceeds will go to Samaritan's Purse for Haiti Disaster Assistance

Gannon's goal is to raise $21 because, as he says, "That's more money than I ever had in my whole life." I am sending my $21 tomorrow. Will you match me? If you are able to donate $21 or any other amount, please send paypal donations to terry dot bracey at gmail dot com or mail checks or money orders made payable to Rebecca Caswell to: AAB, P.O. Box 14086, Baton Rouge, LA 70898 and I will send them to her all at once.

Again, ALL proceeds will go to Samaritan's Purse. This is NOT to benefit Across All Borders or projects in Guatemala in any way.

Please consider donating. Feel free to post this on Facebook, Twitter and other blogs. Also consider hosting your own bake sale this weekend as a way to support those in Haiti and increase your children's awareness to the needs there.

To read Rebecca's blog post about their bake sale, CLICK HERE.

In the News

CLICK HERE to read a short article about the students that worked to collect school supplies, OTC meds, toys and shirts that AAB distributed in October and December. Great kids, awesome teachers!

Observations

During our time in Pueblo Nuevo last year information had to be obtained, observations had to be made and basic decisions had to be finalized. In order to do more than just handouts and reach needs that we can only temporarily meet through occasional short term mission trips, we had to (and have to continue to) get into the community, learn as much as possible about the families there and start working strategically on long term solutions for poverty elimination while also meeting immediate physical needs as well as spiritual needs. Each time I was in Guatemala, I could be found walking around, carrying a notebook and a pen, taking notes, asking questions and listening to every word spoken by those that opened their doors of tin or simple wooden gates.

As with any village in Guatemala, we learned that the needs are great. If you ever travel to any part of Guatemala, you will see the same needs in varying degrees. From the jungles of north Guatemala to the southern most point and from coast to coast, there are needs that need to be met and I will dare say that EVERY village could benefit from some type of long term community development and orphan care/prevention programs.

We have big goals for 2010 and I will start sharing them a little later and as the year goes on. What we pray for this year goes far beyond our short term mission trips (though they are important and needed), but instead begins our long term focus as we have talked about from the beginning.

During our trips to Guatemala last year, I talked a lot about families in Pueblo Nuevo and shared pictures of each trip, but until I had better facts, I was hesitant to share more information here. Now that we know more about this village and the people that call it home, I want to share some of my observations with you. These are just some of my observations from three trips in 2009.

Orphans - We all know that there are an estimated 130 million to 210 million orphans in the world. That figure includes "single orphans" (a child that has lost or been abandoned by one parent) and "double orphans" (a child that has lost or been abandoned by both parents). These numbers do not include "street children". According to the definition of a single orphan, most of the children in Pueblo Nuevo are orphans, having lost or been abandoned by their fathers. There are some fathers that remain, but most of the men in the village have either died or left their wives for women in other villages.

Families - While the number is still unclear, there are an estimated 400 families living in Pueblo Nuevo. I have no way of knowing if this estimate is close to correct. I have no doubt that there are at least 300 families in Pueblo Nuevo. If there are 400, we will likely find out sometime this year. These families consist mostly of mothers and their children. The few husbands/fathers that have remained with their families generally work in the fields outside of Pueblo Nuevo, spend days away from home at a time, are alcoholics and have mistresses. I am sure that this isn't the case for every man in Pueblo Nuevo, but based on the information provided by women there, this is the case in many families. The average number of children in a family 6 to 7.

Employment - There is no employment in Pueblo Nuevo whatsoever. There are currently 5 tiendas that are consistently open, that I have seen, and none of them appear to produce a steady stream of income. There is 1 store front that sells tortillas, but it rarely makes a sale. Men that remain with their families are forced to work in the fields that are miles away from Pueblo Nuevo or not work at all. There are only a handful of women that are fortunate to have have found employment in other villages, though in order to work they must leave their small children home alone.

Health Care - There is no health care in Pueblo Nuevo. The nearest hospital is in Antigua, a 20-30 minute car ride away. Because the majority of families do not have personal transportation, they are forced to walk or, if they can afford public transportation, take a bus to Antigua. Most people in Pueblo Nuevo do not seek medical care, even when it is needed, because they cannot afford the minimal cost associated with it.

Education - There is a public, government run school in the village. It is overcrowded and typical of government run schools across Guatemala. Younger children attend school from 8 am - noon; older children attend from 1 pm through the afternoon. Obviously, some education is better than no education, but we know that 4 hours of education a day is not adequate. The government does provide the school with some necessary supplies, but the school lacks much of what is needed to properly educate. Even though the classrooms are overcrowded, the majority of children in Pueblo Nuevo do not attend school. We have been told by mothers that their children do not attend school because they do not want to, they need help from the older children to care for the younger ones and they believe that getting an education does not benefit the future.

Food Crisis - The food crisis is obvious throughout Guatemala, including in Pueblo Nuevo. Corn is the main source of food for most families. Most families eat only tortillas and beans. Some families have chickens, but those that do have them state that they only produce a couple of eggs a day...not even close to enough for a family of 7-10.


Housing - Fortunately, there are not many people living on the streets in Pueblo Nuevo. Other than a couple of men that appear to be homeless, most families do have some sort of shelter. Of all of the homes we have visited, only one of them has actual flooring (tile), walls separating rooms and a roof with no holes in it. A few homes had flooring consisting of dirt covered concrete. The majority of homes have walls made of cement blocks or tin (those with tin usually have large gaping holes where the tin is supposed to come together, no flooring (only packed dirt or concrete covered in a thick layer of dirt) and few have doors except for the main entrance of the house. Most roofs are in need of repair. Homes are often separated into sections (small separate structures) and usually contain one bedroom, a kitchen and sometimes a bathroom which may or may not contain a toilet. Some families have one bed, others do not even have that. Regardless, most children sleep on dirt floors. There is no room in most homes for additional beds. Blankets and sleeping bags are desperately needed.


Water - As with the rest of Guatemala, water in Pueblo Nuevo contains a number of contaminants that causes illness and disease. In all of Pueblo Nuevo, I have only seen two water filtration systems and one of them is not in use. Most families do have access to water and are able to use it for washing their clothes and cooking. They also drink the water. While their systems are accustomed to drinking it, it is still unhealthy and leads to an increased risk of preventable diseases. Some houses also have toilets. In one part of the village, there are few homes that have water or plumbing.


Stoves - I have seen only one onil stove in Pueblo Nuevo. In all but that home, all cooking is done over an open fire, usually in the kitchen. Walls are covered with black soot. Many women have a continuous cough. It is evident that this type of repeated exposure to smoke is causing what could be severe health problems.


Pre-Natal Care - Because there is no medical care in the area, there is no access to pre-natal care. During our October and December trips, we provided all pregnant and nursing women with pre-natal vitamins, but other than that, they have not and will not receive pre-natal care. In Guatemala, it is not uncommon for a women to die during childbirth and children die during infancy at an alarming rate.

There is so much more that I could say about Pueblo Nuevo and we still have so much to learn about this village and the families that live there.


As I said before, all of this is typical throughout Guatemala and there are different levels of need in each village. What we have seen in Pueblo Nuevo is a village of mostly women trying to care for an overwhelming number of children. Most children are at great risk of becoming double orphans. Should any mother in this community die, her children would be left to care for themselves. Every woman is at risk of disease and injury because there is no preventative measures for anything in this village.


But just as the rest of Guatemala and the rest of the world, this village is not hopeless....in fact, there is so much hope and potential there that just the thought of what it could (and I am convinced WILL) be makes me giddy.


So where do we go from here? Our ultimate goal is long term community development and sustainability...to reach short and especially long term physical and spiritual needs..basically, to do everything possible to eliminate poverty in this village while remembering that we aren't trying to turn it into something similar to a U.S. suburb. It sounds like a big dream and an unreachable goal to many, but it isn't. We have seen the need, we know that simple handouts a couple of times a year is not the answer and would, in fact, cause more harm than good in the long run. It's time to get to work....2010 is going to be a busy year!

2009 in Review

I do not make new year's resolutions because I have never been able to keep them for more than a week. When 2009 began I made no resolutions, but certainly had goals that I hoped would be reached by the end of the year. For the most part, all of them were plus some. This year brought so many changes to our lives and our family. Never would we have imagined all that has taken place this year.

For every moment of joy that we have experienced, I am thankful. For every second of pain, I praise Him. From strengthened friendships to broken ones....from confusion to total clarity....from unconditional love to learning to truly forgive....from doubting to increased faith....from making mistakes to ignoring those that spread untruths....from baking cookies to building castles....from intense fear to facing them....from renewed pain to learning to embrace the hurt....from simple to overwhelming....from laughter to tears....from JOY and more happiness than I have ever known....from empty words to actions....from the beginning of the year, through the highest of highs and some pretty low lows, until the end of 2009, He has been here. We have seen Him, we have felt His never ending presence and we know that with every step we have walked this year, He has surrounded us with Himself. We end 2009 with a greater understanding of who He is and begin 2010 knowing that there is more to learn than we will ever be able to comprehend. We end 2009 with just a glimpse of what His plan is for our lives and begin 2010 knowing that He is all that matters and whatever His plan is, it is far greater than ours ever could be.

We look forward to all that 2010 may bring.

Happy New Year!

Pueblo Nuevo Update

While we were in Guatemala, we were blessed to meet a missionary named Tonja and three daughters of other missionaries living in the area. We were introduced to each of them by Carol at Servants 4 Him. Our team was very small and we were in desperate need of help to pull off some of the distributions. Tonja and the three girls helped us with the distribution of shoes, socks and Bible story books as well as helped us at the Pueblo Nuevo Christmas party. We learned quickly that Tonja is an incredible woman and was such a voice of reason and reassurance to all of us that week.

During the Christmas party in Pueblo Nuevo, Tonja told us about a donation she had received and said that she had been praying about how it should be used. Even though she had not worked in Pueblo Nuevo before, she felt that the donation should be used to provide more food to families in the village. I was overwhelmed when she told me that she would be returning to Pueblo Nuevo with food for the families we love so much in the next couple of weeks.

The distribution happened yesterday. Ninety families received bags of food items. I am so thankful for Tonja, the three girls that returned to Pueblo Nuevo to help her and for the person that contributed financially trusting that it would be used for good.

Tonja also sent an update stating that since our last outreach, more than 20 people have joined the church, requiring Marco to have to expand the church area by pushing a wall back, leaving little room between the wall and the bathroom area. There was barely enough space before and I know that even with the expansion, the room is likely still overcrowded. This is awesome news and we are praising the Lord for the hearts He is touching there! Marco's latest prayer request is for chairs. It may sound so simple, but we all know that in Guatemala, even the simplest things are often hard to come by. At this point, they need more chairs, so that is one thing they are praying for. Now that we know about this new need, we will be providing chairs for the ministry right away.

We know what one of our main focuses needs to be in 2010 and we are praying for BIG things this year. Hopefully by the end of 2010, space and basic needs such as chairs, tables, etc. won't even be an issue for the church or the children's ministry.

Tonja - Thank you again for all you did to help us while we were in Guatemala, for following through with distributing food after we left and for having such a big heart for the people of Guatemala. Please also thank the girls for us. We are praying for you as you prepare to leave Guatemala and cannot wait to hear about how your ministry through Central and South America goes.