We Cry Out

Our ten weeks of Breaking Free came to an end last week with one last assignment that includes a brief writing, a covenant, that is to be shared with someone (or several someones) close to us and then sealed. Our small group of sometimes loud, sometimes quiet, sometimes laughing and sometimes crying women decided that there is just no way we can stop meeting weekly so this week when we get together to share our last assignment we will decide what study to do from here. To be honest, I was beginning to wonder what I was going to do without my weekly time of refreshment and I'm not talking about our never-ending supply of chips and salsa. Thankfully my Thursday nights will remain full of fellowship and what is bound to be the occasional barking frogs and getting home at midnight fun. (Trust me. You had to be there to understand.)

Regardless of what we do next, the last ten weeks have been so beneficial. Writing all of the things that have been realized and remembered, let go of and binded to would take a while and I am not going to share much about it because it has been a time of such personal growth. But tonight as I sat down to write what will be sealed Thursday evening, I was, as usual, at a loss for words. Once I begin writing it's easy for me to continue. Beginning is the hard part.

My pen sat next to a blank sheet of paper for while. Brief has never described me or anything that I write. How could I keep this brief? How could I sum up all that I want to say to God in this covenant in a paragraph? Then a song that I love so much began playing in the background and as it always does reached right into my heart. Writing perhaps my shortest prayer, my forever promise, became easy. It should be so simple and what should be done every day, through it all, but it isn't always easy to let go completely and cling only to Him.




Lord,
When fear begins to consume me and when I am living fearlessly in You...
When doubt clouds my mind and when I am walking the path with certainty...
When questions come and when You answer...
When my heart breaks and when it is healed...
Whenever I follow and when I realize that I have forgotten to...
Through it all, what is good and what is not,
I will turn to You and not myself.
I will cry out Your name. El Shaddai, God of Grace, Lord Most High, Jesus Christ.
I will rely on Your grace because only through that am I saved.