What it Means to Love

We are on day four of the new year and already this year is shaping up to be much different than the last. As I was driving home this evening I heard a song that I haven't heard in a while. If you've ever read more than a post or two here, you know how much I love music and how it moves me, even songs I may have heard a hundred times before and know by heart.

And so it was today.

"Now I no longer live for myself. Your words are so clear. Help me live it loud enough so they can hear. How could I go back to life as usual? How could I return to who I once was? I just want to take your story to the world 'cause you have shown me what it means to love."

As I listened it was almost as if it was written from my life, through the changes that have come over the last few years and how I desperately want to take this love that comes from Him and live it loudly because there is no way that I could go back to what I was before my eyes were opened to what true need is and before my heart was opened wide enough to really love.

2011 is going to be a very different year. It starts next month with a mission trip that will bring a new country stamp other than Guatemala to my passport and then what I expect to be an exciting and amazing Guatemala mission trip just two weeks later. My prayer...

"Lord, help me live it loud enough so they can hear..."




Facebook readers can view the video here.

No Resolutions...Just Choices

I CHOOSE LOVE...

No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love. Today I will love God and what God loves.

I CHOOSE JOY...

I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance. I will refuse the temptation to be cynical...the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.

I CHOOSE PEACE...

I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.

I CHOOSE PATIENCE...

I will overlook the inconveniences of the world. Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I'll invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment to pray. Instead of clinching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.

I CHOOSE KINDNESS...

I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone. Kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.

I CHOOSE GOODNESS...

I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I will accuse. I choose goodness.

I CHOOSE FAITHFULNESS...

Today I will keep my promises. My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates will not question my word. My husband will not question my love. And my child will never fear that his mother will not come home.

I CHOOSE GENTLENESS...

Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice may it be only in praise. If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer. If I make a demand, may it be only of myself.

I CHOOSE SELF-CONTROL...

I am a spiritual being...After this body is dead, my spirit will soar. I refuse to let what will rot, rule the eternal. I choose self-control. I will be drunk only by joy. I will be impassioned only by my faith. I will be influenced only by God. I will be taught only by Christ. I choose self-control.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. To these I commit my day (my year, my life). If I succeed, I will give thanks. If I fail, I will seek his grace. And then, when this day is done, I will place my head on my pillow and rest.

Max Lucado
When Love Whispers Your Name

Sweet Dreams

For years I have dreamed almost nightly about Guatemala. The dreams were usually about people that I know there or children in general or just the country itself. With the exception of one recurring dream (that I haven't had in a long time) most were happy or sad, but never frightening. Those used to be my dreams.

For the last few months, maybe longer, I have had only nightmares. The only similarity to my old dreams is that they come frequently. Rarely have I seen the faces of people I know or have met in Guatemala. The children are never present. These are nightmares filled with horribly vivid violence. I am always alone in them (no team, no travel partner) and the only good thing I can say is that I always wake up right before I am killed. I wake up shaking and with a racing heart. For as long as they have been occurring I have been praying that they would stop. I longed for peaceful sleep. Sleep like I only experience when I am in Guatemala.

It came last night with the sweetest of dreams.

I assumed that we were in Guatemala, but we could have been anywhere I guess. There was so much that was familiar in the dream and so much that was not. We started out in a van traveling from the airport. We rode for hours before stopping at what appeared to be a jungle. I was confused when I asked the driver why we were stopping there. How would we get through? How would we know where to go? He took out his machete and told me that he would make a path and lead the way. He disappeared from sight and we could no longer hear him clearing a path. It looked like there would still be things in the way, obstacles to come, but we trusted him as we began walking.

There were three of us, me and two friends that are so precious to me. We knew our destination. It was many, many miles ahead. As we walked, we talked, laughed and cried. We rested, prayed and carried on. We looked forward to arriving at wherever we were going, but even with the obstacles we enjoyed the journey we had to take to get there. The path was winding and the end was far from sight, but we had such peace about the path we were walking that it didn't matter how long it would take to get there.

I woke up while we were still walking and laughing and breathed a sigh of relief. I woke up knowing that this was so much more than just a dream. It is my life, the way I want to live it. Stepping out into the unknown, trusting in the Lord's leading and His ability to clear the path and enjoying the journey, no matter what obstacles will come, with those that He allows me to walk with until we reach our final destination.

A better dream could not have come at a more perfect time than this.

No Conditions

It has been so quiet here on the blog the last few weeks, but life has been zipping by at what seems to be a faster than normal pace. In just the last month we have prepared for and then postponed a major fundraiser, gone through shoulder surgery (Danny),celebrated a birthday (Danny again), spent much needed time together as a family (thanks to recovery time), rescheduled a Guate trip (more about that a little later), traveled to MS to speak on Orphan Sunday, tried to clean the house without total success, worked on water filter project plans, worked on everything else AAB, joined the Y, started one book and then another, celebrated our third Family Day, finished a Bible study, looked for a house closer to the city and then decided to stay put for a while longer, finally made the important pre-school decision and the list goes on and on. It never stops. I love the busyness of life, but with that busyness comes a mind that sometimes doesn't seem to be able to stop, not even for a moment. So often I find myself longing for a quiet, still mind and it never fails that during these times I think back to the occasions that I remember being just that. Quiet. Still. Restful. Sometimes I just want to stop..turn every thing off, shut it all down and be...still. I know that I long for moments like this because it is in those moments that I feel closer to God than ever. When moments like this come during my time in Guatemala (and they so often do because I intentionally make that time), it is even sweeter, if that is possible. So during all of the busyness over the last few weeks, I have also spent a lot of time reflecting on an evening in August.

On my last day in Guatemala in August, after visiting Hermano Pedro and another children's home, I walked into a very familiar hotel in Guatemala City with only one intention. To be still. I was originally scheduled on the earliest flight out the next day and arranged for a room at my favorite hotel to avoid an extremely early morning drive from Parramos to the airport. When my flight was changed to the afternoon, I kept my reservation because I felt like I needed that time. I remember telling a friend about the overwhelming feeling of needing to lock myself away and spend the night...just me and God. I spent weeks excited about this and throughout the entire trip, as awesome as it was, I continued to look forward to the stillness that was coming.

Once at the hotel, I had dinner at my favorite restaurant, picked up coffee and a pastry, made a few phone calls and chatted for a while with people that I love, took the longest, hottest shower of my life, put on the coziest PJs I own and crawled into a heavenly bed. For some that would have been the end of the night and so the case could have been for me and I would have declared it one of the most relaxing evenings ever. But I was there for so much more.

As I sat there I realized that what I had come for is what I was experiencing. There was absolutely nothing on my mind. It is rarely the case, but that night my mind was clear. There were no questions, no doubts. I had not gone there to spend time asking God for anything. There was nothing to ask for. I went to be still, knowing that I would feel His presence around me. I just wanted to worship Him. I wasn't expecting anything from Him. For once I wasn't even asking Him to speak to me. As I prayed, the words that escaped my lips were much different than they usually are. I did not ask for guidance or wisdom. I did not ask for clarity. I didn't ask for protection for me or my family and I did not even ask for forgiveness. I asked for nothing. Instead I just praised Him. His presence was so overwhelming that tears began to well in my eyes and quickly began to fall from them. It wasn't long before I was crying the most refreshing, cleansing cry. I can't explain it, but each tear that fell seemed to be the removal of something in me that needed to come out. I have no idea how long I sat there, praying and crying, but as suddenly as it started it ended with the most quiet whisper spoken to my soul.

"No conditions."

Sometimes the Lord speaks so quietly that if you are not paying attention, you may miss it. Other times He speaks so clearly that there is no denying it. That night, on a night when I did not expect to hear from Him, He spoke so clearly. There was no mistaking His voice. But I had no idea what He was talking about.

"No conditions? What does that mean?"

I began to think of so many miracles and things that a lot of people believe are unbelievable..."Let there be light," all of creation, from dust became man, water into wine, mud and saliva to sight, instant healing, walking on water, fish and loaves, God became man, the Cross, "He is risen!" In all of that, my thoughts were most heavily on the miracles of Jesus. People asked to be healed and they were healed. People didn't ask to be healed and He healed them anyway. If someone was hungry, He fed them. Thirsty? He gave them water. Unloved? He loved them. An outcast? He declared them friend. If there was a need, He met it. All the way to the Cross. He was despised by many, but poured out more love than this world had ever known. He didn't look away from the uncomfortable and unpleasant. No, He walked right up to whatever situation there was and with every step taught us what it means to serve and what it means to love. There is nothing He would have turned from. No need to great. No need too small. It didn't matter who you were or where you lived. It didn't matter what your religious beliefs were, if you didn't believe at all or if demons were involved. He walked into what was ugly and made it beautiful. Every time.

It became clear what He meant with the simple words "no conditions" though I couldn't fully grasp it until now and maybe not even still.

I admit it. There are times when I look at situations and think, "But things are so much worse (somewhere else)." There have been many times when I have questioned every thing from where we work in Guatemala to working in Guatemala altogether. Because aren't things "worse" in some other villages in Guatemala than the one AAB works in? And aren't things "worse" in some other countries than in Guatemala? These are questions that have brought confusion and doubt into my life more times than I want to think about. They are doubts that the enemy loves to stir.

Because what is "worse"?

Who has the worst life...the millionaire that lives in the U.S. and appears to have it all, but does not have hope in eternity because he does not know Christ or the poorest man in the world that has nothing and yet has everything because He trusts in the Lord?

It goes back to what I have always known AAB has to be. We have to meet physical needs and in every thing that we do, we have to share the love of Christ, making Him known wherever we are because there is no hope without Him. That is nothing new for us, but that night I was left with a new perspective.

Two years ago this month we announced that AAB would be officially "launched" early the next year. Two months later, we were rolling. Slowly, but we were on our way. Since then we have been turned upside down and inside out. I have never in my life experienced so much personal growth in such a short period of time and am thankful that growth continues. We started AAB not knowing anything about this and admittedly still have no idea how to do a lot of what needs to be done. Our feet have slipped, doubts have rocked us to the core, confusion has threatened to bring it all to an end. Through it all I have never felt closer to God and never have I heard His voice so clearly as I have over the past couple of years. That night He answered a question I had been asking Him for more than a year even though the question was far from my mind that night.

There are to be no conditions in serving. Not for AAB anyway. Never again am I to say, "but the need is so much worse in (name a country)." Because no, it's not. There may be more physical hunger in countries all over Africa and even in Guatemala. Three meals a week sounds like need to us, but it would be an answered prayer to some children. Rotting plywood walls, flooded dirt floors and almost non-existent tin roofs may be better shelter than tents in Haiti. Highly contaminated water is better than no water at all. Poverty in a developing country is poverty. There is no reason to compare it to another. Needs must be met. We are commanded to love and serve our brothers and sisters in Christ. If we know that one of our brothers or sisters is in need, we have to do whatever we can to help them. What better way than walking with them, helping them lift themselves out of poverty.

And then there are those that do not know Him. I can honestly say that years ago, way back when I dreamed of serving orphans and people in need, I never thought about this. Meeting physical needs was all I was concerned about. Isn't it amazing how He reaches in, wakes you up and makes His plan clear? It wouldn't matter if physical poverty were not an issue in Pueblo Nuevo. We would continue to go back. Because there are more people there than we first realized that do not know Him.

"No conditions." No matter how bad things appear. No matter what physical needs exist. No matter if someone is a Christian or not. No matter what anyone thinks or says. We have to follow Him. We have to do our best to do what He calls us to. And He calls us to do what He did. To walk into the ugly. To walk into the darkness. To fight for justice. To love the poor AND the rich. To meet physical AND spiritual needs. Whatever is needed. Above all, to bring His love to the nations. To make Him known. And it doesn't matter where.

After all, isn't that what He does for each of us? Loves us unconditionally? No matter what our needs are, no matter what we have done or haven't done, no matter where we live or the color of our skin? He has no conditions for loving us. Oh how thankful I am for such a love as this!

We love Guatemala. I cannot imagine God ever calling us to leave Guatemala completely. He may and if He does I will forever believe that His plans are better than ours, but with the heart we have for the people of Guatemala I cannot imagine that happening any time soon. I believe that we will always work in Guatemala. But there is more. I don't know where He will take us, but I do know that because He loves us without condition, He calls us to do the same. For now it is Pueblo Nuevo. A small village where the need is great...greater than we first realized and greater in more ways than one.

Orphan Sunday - November 7

Just a reminder or FYI for those that do not know, November 7th is Orphan Sunday. Churches and individuals around the country are organizing events to bring attention to the world's orphan crisis.

We will never know the true number of orphans that exist. Some say 134 million. Some 143 million. Some 147 million. I have heard that we may have already exceeded 210 million. Regardless of the exact number, we have to do something. An estimated 15 million children have lost both parents. The rest have lost one or have been abandoned or abused and removed from their homes. All are at great risk of a multitude of issues if we do not follow through with what we have been called to.

Please get involved in some way. The only way to make a difference is to start making a difference. Check your local area for events or schedule one yourself.

Why Love Orphans? from Christian Alliance for Orphans on Vimeo.

2nd Annual AAB Golf Tournament - Oct. 27

The 2nd Annual AAB Golf Tournament will be held Wednesday, October 27, 2010 at The Oaks at Sherwood in Baton Rouge. Registration begins at 7:30am with a shotgun start at 8:30am. The cost is $400 per team of four ($100 per single).

To register as a team or individually, please email Terry at terry@acrossallborders.org.

We are still in need of hole sponsors ($100 per hole) and prize sponsors. If you are interested in sponsoring this event, contact us at the above email address for more information.

All proceeds from this tournament will be used specifically for AAB's December mission trip to provide water filters and food bags to families in (San Lucas) Pueblo Nuevo, Guatemala as well as provide additional support for the local children's ministry.

Children's Day

Today is Children's Day in Guatemala and it is being celebrated in a big way in Pueblo Nuevo this weekend.

The Tulio's had the wonderful idea of throwing a huge party for everyone and asked if we would consider helping. In Marco's words, "We want to have a big party to bring a little joy to the children in Pueblo Nuevo. This year has been especially hard for many of them with the loss of parents and other family members and we just want them to know that we love them." Who could disagree with that? I would have loved to be with them to celebrate this weekend, but this was a wonderful opportunity to begin to show that we trust our partners in Guatemala by funding the party that they hoped to have while allowing them to carry it out on their own.

Of course, it also makes me happy to know that as many supplies as possible have been purchased from small business owners in Pueblo Nuevo and others in Parramos.

All of the children in the village are being fed breakfast (they are expecting no less than 500 children) and all of the children plus their families are being served lunch. After lunch, a number of activities will take place including crafts, games (with prizes), pinatas and entertaining clowns.

I will post an update about the party in a few days. In the meantime, please pray for the Tulio family as this will be a busy and exhausting weekend for them and that those that attend the party will feel the love of Christ and be open to the message that will be given during the event.