Monday, May 23, 2011


Rain pelleted the glass. Dark clouds raced overhead. I couldn't see the wind, but I knew it was there. "Surely this flight will be delayed," I thought, as I rested my head against the back of my seat. If there is anything a person that is scared of flying hates more than just flying, it is flying through a storm. The wheels began to turn and as I felt the plane begin to slowly make its way to the runway, I closed my eyes to pray. "Lord, please be with us in this storm." (Add a little bit of panic or a lot and those last minute silent, hidden freak-out prayers and you will have an accurate picture of what I look like on any given flight, especially stormy ones. You can't tell from the outside because it appears that I have it all together when flying, but if you could see underneath you would know that I am not at all internally calm in these situations. I'm trying to turn this fear over to Him. Really I am. I just haven't been all that successful at it yet.) When I felt us begin to race down the runway I opened my eyes so I could watch as we left the ground (kind of like a train don't want to watch, but you just have to...the same with flying for me...I don't want to see how high we go or if we start to crash, but I can't help myself). I was still praying as we made our way quickly toward those dark clouds that I knew would cause my fingers to go numb because of how hard I would squeeze my arm rests through the turbulence. The plane began to bob and shake through the clouds. "I should have driven 12 hours to KY and 12 hours back." But then I would have missed it.

Have you ever gotten to the other side of a storm and seen the sun reflecting off of those clouds?

Have you ever flown above a storm and been able to see it underneath you?

For the rest of the flight it didn't matter that I was on a plane. I had no fear. How could I? When the presence of God surrounds you and fills you to overflowing, fear vanishes. And as the Holy Spirit begins to speak ever so quietly to your heart, there is nowhere else you would rather be.

In the air, high above one storm and flying around another that I could see right outside my tiny window, was the most incredible display. I have never seen the sun so vividly reflecting in so many places at once, bouncing off clouds and wing tips. I have never seen clouds look so eerie and so beautiful at the same time.

A long time ago the Lord began to stir my heart about something and ever since I have run away from it, giving what I thought were good, logical reasons to avoid it when really all I was doing was making excuses to try to get out of it. It wasn't that I didn't want to follow Him completely in the direction He was calling me to, but I was afraid and too busy and knew that it would be so, so hard to get through. I didn't tell anyone about it, not one single person, for a few reasons. One, I knew I would never go through with it, so why would I tell someone that I was intentionally avoiding Him? That would kind of look bad, wouldn't it? Two, I was praying through all of this time (really just trying to convince Him to change His mind), but I knew that those I could tell would be mostly one sided...either completely for or against it...and really all I needed was His opinion on this. I was already trying to avoid it so I didn't need anyone else telling me why I should ignore the call as well if this was really His will. In the end, while I was at the Summit, I realized that I could no longer ignore it, so I stopped running away from it, turned around and ran straight to Him, knowing that this would stir my life up in ways that I never imagined. If I thought I was busy before, this would blow my mind. If I thought I couldn't possibly add one more thing to my plate, this would prove that I could. And the storms that would come...oh the storms....

But on a short hour and a half flight, He made it so very clear that yes, storms will come. Sometimes He will lead me around them and I will be able to see them and praise Him for taking me the long way around. Sometimes He will lead me straight through them and I will praise Him for carrying me during those times. And always, always, no matter if we go around or through, He will be there the whole time and once I make it to the other side I will see the beauty of it all and know that He never lets go.

Life was made for only for Him. And this life will soon get a lot crazier than we ever thought it would be (and no, this has nothing to do with adding more children to our family). I can't wait to see what storms will come, what storms we'll dodge and what He will ultimately do with this. For now I'm hanging on to Him for dear life because the ride after you say "YES" gets a lot bumpier...

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