Remembering...

September 30, 2007. The day I left Antigua to return to the city for a couple of days before finally bringing Tommy home. The blog post I wrote that day was such a hard post for me to write. I remember walking through the streets of Antigua that morning trying to soak in ever sight, smell and sound because while I wanted to return and knew I was supposed to return, I did not believe that I actually would. As I brought all of our luggage down stairs, I made the last desperate attempt to convince Danny that leaving our lives in the U.S. to be in Guatemala is what we needed to do. As I cried most of the way during the one hour trip to Guatemala City I knew that I would never be able to accept living what most people see as a "normal" life ever again. And I knew that until Danny got just a glimpse into what life had been like for the last 2 months, that he would continue to believe that his wife had lost her mind in Guatemala. Leaving Antigua was miserable...leaving the country a few days later was even worse. I talk about this often, I know...probably so I never forget what leaving Guatemala was like for me back then. It was so clear to me on the day I left Antigua what I had to do. I had no idea how I would do it or when it would happen, but I knew.

I have grown so much since that day and am finally able to say that I am glad I didn't rush in to starting something as soon as I got home. Even now, Across All Borders is changing and growing as we seek His will for our lives and the life of the organization. I can't imagine what this would have looked like back then, but I am certain that it would not have looked anything like the leap of faith that was taken last year when we made the decision to start AAB.

I wrote this 2 years ago as I asked God to "let me stay just a little longer"...

"...I believe that the reason I had to stay longer is so that I could really fall in love with this country. Not just because this is where Tommy was born, but because of it’s beauty, it’s atmosphere, it’s uniqueness and it’s great need for help. I have fallen in love with Guatemala. Not just Antigua, but Guatemala as an entire country..."

I still believe that. Leaving when I wanted to would have led to just one thing...I never would have been willing to return to Guatemala. Not to visit, not to work, not to live. My heart had to be changed there...and that is exactly what happened.

(Completely off topic, but in case there are any potential baby wearers reading...Do you see that carrier I'm wearing? I am convinced that it played a big role in tearing my shoulder up to the point that I will probably have to have surgery soon. I wore Tommy every day for hours each day during my time in Antigua. Take my advice..stay away from this type of carrier...buy an Ergo instead!)